Bars of the Stairs

She sits by the stairs
Listening to each and every word
Vampire bites on her soul
The loud crash of a thrown vase
Screams at the top of their lungs
She wants them to stop
Catastrophe of sounds
Cacophony of hurt
Wraps around her internalized
Becoming her safety blanket
That she will warm herself with
When she gets older

My life apart

I guess it took me 25 years of life and probably one of the worst years I have ever had to learn a few lessons. I am not one for a rampant evangelical religion, however, I think god did have a plan for me this year. It was to teach me some things that would make me stronger. This year as i said before was full of failures with a few triumphs along the way, but mostly full of failures. These ranged from the destruction of my teggy, to the theft of all my things, to setting myself back a whole five years. However, the one sliver of silver light emitting from these drab ominous clouds was that I have learned. I have learned that you don't get do overs no matter how many sci-fi tv shows you watch, once something is done its done. This includes when bad things happen to you, when you make a mistake or when you make a choice. Once it happens its etched in stone in some far away place where you can neither chisel, break or alter it. It happens. And this really goes for choices. Once you set that first step onto a path, you have irrevocable changed your future. Time is irreversible and all it takes is one misstep to fall off the ledge. Now, I am not saying that you can prevent bad things from happening to you by being prudent and/ or staying locked up on your room. However, I am saying that an ounce of prevention is worth a ton of trouble. Bad things will happen to you, no matter what you do, bad things will happen, although less bad things will happen to you if you know how to prevent them. However, dwelling on what happened to you is not going to let you move forward. Rather it will trap you in a hole as time's watery flow slips around you. And the biggest problem with time is; once you try to grab that watery flow it disappears and then you realize that you're not in the water at all, just on top of it on a raft going downstream staring at your reflection like tantalus trying to get a drink of water.

Gravity

It stares back at me
Wrapped in white satin sheets
And my green comforter from college
I stand over the bed
The smell and sweat sliding off my body
Under the light brown cedar fan
It wants to know where my eyes are
Have they left along with my heart
Riding out into the sunset
It stares at me
Hoping that my eyes will return
To the former softness and desire
That was there at the beginning
That seems to have drifted off
Like unused dreams
It asks me, why don’t I come back to bed
In light copper tones, beckoning
Begging me to return to my past
Hoping that it is as promising
After a rainy day
It is full of life, meaning, hope
Destiny, fear, love
And I am empty
Caught in the sea of indecision
Wanting to not have ghosts
Pulling me closer to the window
Closer to opening it
Closer to trying to fly in gravity
Flying is a lie
And I know that
But the ghosts keep telling me different
I am just a man, maybe I don’t know
It screams, calls, whispers
It’s being filling the room
Trying to push the ghosts out
Trying to draw me in
To its gravity
I stand still unable to grasp
It or the window sill
As it and the ghosts
Stare at me
Waiting for me
To move