Validation

I woke up this morning like many other mornings, sleepy and wishing my alarm clock wasn't across the room. However, there was also something lingering there from the long 3 day weekend. The question of validation and why we search for it. At first this seems like an easy question to answer, one that could be summed up as to have an identity and have people recognize that identity. But then I started to wonder why we need this outward source of identity and how much our identity is created by other people. So this weekend after a few drunken romps, I came to the realization of how much validation "relations" can provide. On one hand, it asserts the physical validation and acceptance that one wants, especially if they may have a few insecurities about themselves. On the other hand, if it does not go well and maybe one person is in the mood and the other isn't, it can be a huge blow to one's ego and their sense of self. Has anyone else ever thought, "No, what do you mean you don't want to go again, it's me." Ego much... :(. It seems as if outward source that we draw from for validation can and will always be a double edged sword, maybe even lined with poison or some sort of addictive drug. It can be something as simple as grades in school, one's ability to perform or even the subtle ability to create friends in odd situations, however, when one of these fails we are left with a feeling of loss. Some would say that, that is why one should always look within themselves for validation, but in reality how many of us social creatures can always do that. We need people to tell us we are good, that we are beautiful, that we are unique. We need these positive influences in our life, or the world is just a cruel joke that laughs at us at our every triumph and failure. I think the only thing we can do to feel normal and to feel sane is to find validation in better places. And one of those I can assure you is not sex appeal.

Happy New Year

Before I get overly sentimental for a year that was pretty shitty, let's look forward to next year. What will it bring? I am hoping the biggest most wonderfulest thing it shall bring is for me to learn from my mistakes. At my age, a whopping 25, I know what my downfalls have been so far. I know what some of my strengths are as well. I think one of my strengths is that I am not afraid to leap out on faith, however, on the flip side I am painfully shy when it comes to situations that are familiar, but are uncomfortable. I also know that one of my biggest weaknesses is that I have great ideas but i have problems with seeing them to the end. I have let life and the unwillingness for sacrifice hinder my dreams. No more I say, no more. Let all that read this hear my outcry. NO FRIGGIN MORE.... The more I let life get in the way, the more I stop living life the way I want to and since we are only gifted with one life (as far as i know), why not take advantage of it.