Far from You

Like the bright red torrent
swirling around number 5
watching over our dim green world
I am far, distant away
from anything resembling
that emotional strangle
the pleasant asphyxiation
associated with the carnal desire
the sunshine in the rain
that so many people find it so easy
to be in, to live in
to breathe in, as i choke
and cough and spit up parts of my lung
trying to run, to escape
this knife that could kill the old me
and phoenix flame respawn me
into something more caring
more thoughtful, more selfless
more able to look in your eyes
and say four letters that
have sunk ships, destroyed countries
and made some of the most beautiful
art and music the world has ever seen
but again it avoids me, or i avoid it
like a flu during the summer
hoping that if i have enough hand sanitizer
that virus laden ring never
takes a hold of my hand