How much time do we waste wondering what would life be like if we made a different decision? I feel as if it is a lot. Or wondering why we aren't where we want to be, or wondering why we are feeling a certain way. Are these contemplations useless if we do not make a resolution that we can stick to. I get tired of myself because I always think that this will be the last time i do this or feel this way, but what it boils down to is that it's not and it will not. I am addicted to feeling helpless as if it is a safe place or comfort zone. And it never feels as if I am scared of succeeding, just scared of failure. However, by sabotaging it by not doing what i know i should do, I already have.
Earlier this week, this little runt told me off because i didnt pay enough attention to it. It then proceeded to try to draw blood and shit on my dreams. It probably was the rudest, craziest most out of touch with reality argument. As I look back on it, I wonder why I even paid it any mind. Replaceable, and thats all I have to say.
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