My wonderful Mother brought up an interesting question while we were enjoying some crab dip at a not so local restaurant. She asked if an alien came down and could remove one of our desires, either our desire for food or our desire for sex, which one we would choose. And if anyone knows me my answer of course was take away the taquitos immediately. There is no way I would want to go my life without sex, in which my dad echoed my sentiment. However, my sister was on the fence and my mother said take away sex. Although a gender commentary or even a discussion of the significance of sex in a relationship or for pleasure is necessary, it will not be delved into today. I’d rather go into something a little more broad such as how much our desires play into our everyday terms of happiness.
I was reading a book a few months ago called The Traveler. It was about people who could transcend our reality and see the nuances of our life from different perspectives. One thing that stood out to me was that they called our reality that of desire; where we constantly want things and try to stuff the holes in our existence with things, people or ideas. How much does it really take for us to be happy? And is happiness only a fleeting emotion that we shouldn’t try to attain every day? What is the difference between happiness and contentment? How can sadness be so sustainable, but happiness be so fleeting?
For all purposes we will define content as not wanting more or less and happiness as a state of joy. So what do we need to be content; a good job, plenty of food, maybe some good sex, and maybe good people around us. However, when we reach a point in our life that we have that, why do some people always want more. Then this makes us wonder what we need to be happy. Are humans naturally greedy, do we always know that there is probably something better out there and is that better feeling happiness? Is that why a person cheats in a good relationship? Is that why people strive for power? Is that why people try to amass wealth? I think the heart of American culture is that people always want something better. And I think if given the chance, this would be played out globally. So in a sense, yes, I am saying that human nature is to want more.
Maybe this is where our need for religion, rules and authority come in. I think another intrinsic part of humanity is for us to fight against our nature, to have ideas and beliefs that we are again more than we are, animals. Our brains make us rationalize our desires, or our want for things and because of this rationalization we need to have something that culturally and socially makes sense. No one wants to be ostracized for their desires. For example, the desire for sex is natural; however, the performance of it in all aspects is what we try to control. It becomes a political and social trial of what is right. If we took out the political aspect of sex and were free to love those we choose (minus those that can be a detriment to growing up ie. Pedophilia) would be happier or more content? We generally create all the things that make us unhappy. So it is up to us to figure out how within our desires we can make ourselves content and/or sustainably happy. One can be on earth and be in hell at the same time.
